The Dead Ball Dick-List: Lleyton Hewitt

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1. His game is so ugly it’s hard to watch.

2. All the yelling and screaming is most unnecessary. Sure a bit of that stuff is warranted when the game is tense but all day, every game, every day is retarded.

3. He is such a fan of Rocky that when he was a junior, he used to shout “C’mon Balboa!”

4. He’s got no serve.

5. He’s a foot-faulter.

6. Rather than persuing excellence, his game relies on the inconsistency of others.

7. He blames his losses on everything but his own performance – often the surface of the court or the call of a linesperson.

8. In his 2005 Australian Open match against Argentine Juan Ignacio Chela, Hewitt heriocally celebrated an  unforced error. DICK MOVE. Chela responded by serveing directly at Hewitt, and spat at him during the changeover. One Australian paper proclaimed, “Many regretted [the spit] did not find its target.”

9. In a cunning PR move, Lleyton released the DVD Lleyton Hewitt: The Other Side to show the world what a nice guy he is. Only, the DVD included footage of Lleyton and Aussie Rules star Andrew McLeod at a sacred Aborignal burial site, and when McLeod refused permission to use the footage, nice-guy Lleyton used it anyway. Nice.

10. In a 2001 US Open match against James Blake, Lleyton was called for foot-faulting. He approached the Umpire and asked that the linesperson be removed. “Look at him,” he said pointing towards the black linesman, “look at him,” pointing towards his black opponent, (wait for it), “and you tell me what the similarity is.”

DICK!

– Henry

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5 Comments

Filed under Dick-List, Tennis

5 responses to “The Dead Ball Dick-List: Lleyton Hewitt

  1. Awesome post Henry, and I agree Hewitt is a prize tool (though I always secretly dug his ‘come on!’-s). But my fave Hewitt moment was watching a BBC World doco on him a few years back, and they’re out on this deck overlooking the Med, it’s a real lifestyle interview, when the presenter asks him what person, living or dead, he’d most like to have dinner with. Hewitt pauses, thinks a spell, before replying “Wesley Snipes. I just love his movies.” Amazing moment.

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