The Skinny Post: Muppets and Tits…

'That implement on the right. That's for medical use right?'

'That implement on the right. That's for medical use yes?'

Boy do I feel like crap today. Even Nurse Open Wide And Say Ah above couldn’t make me feel better.
Ok, that’s a lie. Do all nurses get ankle tats like that nowadays? That’s awesome.
But anyway, The Skinny Post comes live to you today from a sweaty bed covered in piles of viscous tissues and tv remotes.
See, now try and get that image out of your head.

ARIZONA CARDINALS v PHILEDELPHIA EAGLES (9am Monday SKY 1)

cardinals-cheerleader-hot
If you’re going to be wrong, I think its better to be colossally, awfully, abominably wrong, (look how far it got Hitler and George W Bush!) and I have been very wrong lately about both these teams.
I was a huge booster of Kurt and the the Cards up until they fell apart for 6 straight weeks at the end of the season.
Now they are seemingly unstoppable, thanks as much to ferocious run defense as Larry Fitzgerald’s incredible leaping catches. Even Edgerrin James, a player who was supposed to be just cashing an Arizona paycheck on name value alone a la Emmitt Smith, is playing well. Kurt Warner may well be crap at drawing Jesus, but he throws a mean long strike, with deadly accuracy.
They have some real weapons and beat two good teams to get here.
My ongoing dislike for Philedelphia’s Donovan Mcnabb and coach Andy Reid notwithstanding, everyone on earth apart from Will Leitch think Philly win this. I think Philly implode here, but then I picked the Phillies to lose the World Series too. Could we possibly see another supposedly cursed sports city be the MLB champions and Superbowl champs in the same season (last done in 2003 by Boston)?
Could we have an all-Pennsylvania Superbowl? And what specifically do I have against the city of Brotherly Love?? I mean, I LOVE cheesesteaks.
800px-patscheesesteak
Mmmmmm, cheesesteaks.

WINNER: Arizona. They’re at home, they’re running hot, and why not?

PITTSBURGH STEELERS v BALTIMORE RAVENS (12.30pm Monday ESPN on SKY)

t1_cobalt1
I have a real issue with Ray Lewis. For a start, he’s not as big as you think.
How do I know this? I was in the Cobalt Lounge the night of the Superbowl in Atlanta in 2000. I know the alley where the stabbing occurred. I’m not saying he actually killed anybody. In fact that may be the issue. He just tried to cover it up, badly.
raylewis1
Something about the whole thing just stank. So I watch him do those operatic entrance dances of his, and watch all the preening after he piles on a tackle to pad his stats, and it just sort of irks me.
Which is a shame, because I really like the Ravens. They play punishing, ‘smashmouth‘ football, and are on the brink of taking a rookie coach and a rookie QB to the Superbowl.
Which just goes to show how useless actual offense is to the Baltimore Ravens. You could make a valid argument that those 11 guys on the offense are there just to allow the defense to have a breather for a few minutes 10 times a game. C’mon they won it all in 2000 with TRENT DILFER, a really nice guy, but a VERY ordinary QB.
Joe Flacco, new king of the unibrow, is actually far better than him.

Joe Flacco (right) seen here with a young Troy Polamalu

Joe Flacco (right) seen here with a young Troy Polamalu

Pittsburgh meanwhile are expertly coached, with good to excellent personnel.
This game is down to the offensive line, and Big Ben. They play well, Pittsburgh advance, and Roethlisberger is looking at good odds to win his second Superbowl. He gets pressured, takes sacks, fumbles or tosses some of his patented interceptions and this one is over by halftime. The Ravens defense will severely punish any mistakes.

Big Ben in his usual habitat

Big Ben in his usual habitat

WINNER: Pittsburgh. Because at some point in these crappy playoffs, the better team has to win. So far Pittsburgh are the only team to pull that off.

OTHER STUFF

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One more Cobalt Lounge story. In 1999 Rickey Henderson was playing for the Mets, who met Atlanta in the NCLS that year. Despite him being a complete fruitloop, Rickey was one of my favourite baseball players of all time. He was famous for his speed, his hitting at lead off, and his non-stop conversations with himself.
Ali may have invented sportspeople talking about themselves in the 3rd person, but Rickey Henderson took it to a whole new level.
I was sitting next to the faux fireplace upstairs when in come the Mets, looking to party. Rickey was one of them. He didn’t drink though, just sat quietly. He looked rock hard, like a welterweight the day before a big fight. I remember finally getting up the courage to talk to him, and got him to sign a napkin for me. Unfortunately I don’t remember much else due to many rounds of Tequila that followed with a pitcher who shall remain unamed, mainly because all I can remember now is that he was a pitcher.
This week Rickey was elected first ballot into the Baseball Hall of Fame, and few modern players have been more deserving in that sport. There’s a great piece about him from the New Yorker here. He still wants to play, and thinks he can play, at 50. I wouldn’t bet against it.

– Mark Tierney

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