The 80’s were a decade with little-to-no standards. Basically, if you had an idea, it was a good one, and it would probably make you a lot of money. Somewhere, at some point during the 80’s, somebody came up with the idea to put shoulder pads in women’s tops – the world bought it, someone got rich, and a lot of women looked a lot less feminine as a result. I’m an unapologetic product of the 80’s, and I’m not ashamed of what I wore or who adored, but I can’t imagine zinc catching on in ’08 like it did in ’88.
So why then, when a sound engineer named Tracy Coats came up with the idea of putting musicians in sports uniforms, did the concept not fly? The fact that I hadn’t even heard of The All Sports Band until last week blows my mind. They had it all: a baseball player, kick boxer (who was supposedly a hockey player in concept, but was changed when they realized skates would be pretty hard to wear onstage), race car driver, football player, and boxer. Sure, they come from different codes, but they were united by rock.[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpxf0Z9nAyE%5D
It’s hard to know exactly what didn’t connect here. It’s certainly not the music – anyone with two ears and a heart can relate. You don’t really “hear” this kind of music, you “feel” it, so maybe the decadent 80’s just weren’t ready for something as raw and real as the music of The All Sports Band. Or maybe musicians just shouldn’t pretend to the athletes. Maybe flipping it round would’ve worked better. Would the world have cared more about a band of athletes pretending to be musicians? You tell me:[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB8Z5MCi5VE%5D
Wait, no – surely Bryan Adams is an illegal substitution. Scrub that.
There are no easy answers – music and sports are such a perfect coupling. My favourite sporting moments come with soundtracks (when I close my eyes and think of a tearful Tonya Harding, I hear “Hey There Deliliah”). And what would the Karate Kid All-Valley Karate Tournament montage be without “You’re The Best”?[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fua0g13djo%5D
Perhaps a more pertinent question is what would “You’re The Best” be with out the Karate Kid All-Valley Karate Tournament? But now I’m just waxing philosophical, and casually blowing my mind in the process. It’s early.
The point here is that The All Sports Band should NOT have failed – not in the 80’s. I’m half-tempted to make DeadBall Icons out of these guys, but part of me feels that their story is not yet complete… or maybe I’m just resentful of the fact that my childhood would have been a lot more enjoyable if my parents had done their job properly and exposed me to this kind of stuff.