Category Archives: Premiere League

Guest Post: Not Watching The 'Piss Ant' Final

An alternative title to this piece could easily have been Stumbling Block. Right across Europe teams that either had to win to maintain pressure on the league leaders bottled it or table toppers suddenly looked as though they don’t like the limelight anymore and just want to spend some time in mediocrity. Perhaps the most astounding of these was Middlesbrough looking fairly convincing in a 2-0 win over Liverpool at the Riverside, the first time they have managed this for five years. To put some perspective on how long it has been since Gareth Southgate’s boys managed to do anything right I was watching their away win over Aston Villa while in Shanghai, over 8,000kms of land travel ago. If you are reading this at the end of a day’s work think that you’ve just spent that whole time playing football and not scored a goal in that whole time, that being the time between Alfonso Alves putting the ball in the net against Sunderland and Xabi Alonso statuing the ball in for an unfortunate own goal.

Here are some other things that were going on the last time Middlesbrough won:

– UK #1 single they would be listening to – X Factor Finalists – “Hero”

– New Zealand were not yet rugby league World Cup winners.

– Australia were still the best ranked one day team in the world.

– Liverpool were top of the table.

Number 1 the last time Middlesbrough won

...and these guys had the UK #1 Single

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Guest Post: Crossover Appeal

If you have been watching Sportscenter at all over the last month one of the more ridiculous segments that will seemingly not go away is the “which NBA stars would make NFL stars” discussion. Started by LeBron’s commercial for State Farm it is one of those conversations that should be talked about maybe for a week but once Bristol gets hold of it will probably lead to a months long team by team vote. Returning to topic here is Kobe showing what everyone already knew, that he is much more into the beautiful game anyway.


Fact of the week 1: Three newly signed strikers scored on debut in the mid-week games – Mido, Heskey, and Bellamy.

Fact of the week 2: In developing a spine news, Newcastle have lost only one of their last nine at St James’ Park.

Fact of the week 3: Sunderland have not won consecutive league games since last April.

Fact of the week 4: Liverpool won their first league game for 2009.

Fact of the week 5: Hull have the fourth lowest goal difference at -15 yet lie 11th on the table showing the great ability to really take a pasting or eke out a win. Continue reading

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Guest Post: A Return To Action

It’s a glorious feeling waking up in the morning knowing that right before you are three back to back games of premiership action. And so without further ado, some observations:

Fact of the week no. 1: Aston Villa’s 1-0 victory over Portsmouth was their first at Fratton Park in 34 years.

Fact of the week no. 2: That Villa win was also a club record sixth consecutive away victory. Next up Blackburn Rovers.

Fact of the week no 3: £23.5 million combined is what teams have paid in transfer fees alone for Emile Heskey. The Donkey scoring a typically scrappy goal first time out for his new employers.


Fact of the week no 4: Jermaine Defoe continued his record of scoring every time he has played Stoke City in his career.

Fact of the week no 5: Manchester United have now gone 1032 minutes without conceding a Premiership goal, passing Chelsea’s record in the 84th minute of their game against West Brom.

Fact of the week no. 6: That wasn’t the only defending record achieved in that game; 11 consecutive clean sheets is also a new mark. Continue reading


Filed under Football, Guest Post, Premiere League, Soccer

Guest Post: And In The 47th Minute…

After the fantastic, if too brief, flurry of games between Christmas
and the new year the FA Cup has left us with a bit of a lull in
Premier League action and just at a time when this correspondent could
really do with some solid distraction too. Left with nothing to do
but sit on a beach all day here are some thoughts from the just past
the half-way point in the season mainly in a team by team manner
except if the team is too boring or pointless to think about. The
2008 part of the season has actually been fairly even with there even
being a stretch of three weeks right at the end where none of the big
clubs won, helped of course by ManU being over in these parts for two
weeks winning the Sepp Blatter trophy.

Liverpool: 1996-97 was the last time that we saw Liverpool at the top
of the table at Christmas, they finished fourth. In fact only one
team other than ManU and Chelsea has managed to hold onto such a lead
since the inception of the Premier League and that was Blackburn back
when I was starting high school. Still, of all the seasons that are
supposedly going to be Liverpool’s this one looks like having the most
chance of success about it; the team is playing a fast and exciting
brand of football while sacrificing little of their usual stinginess
on defence. In the last month Gerrard has scored more goals than
Middlesbrough and Stoke City combined, a resurgent Robbie Keane as
many as his former club Spurs managed in the same time all while
TBSITL (the best striker in the league) Torres is showing off his
scarf and coat collection waiting to come back from injury. If not
for a couple of draws against Hull and West Ham things would be
looking mighty rosy from the top, still what would you rather have
received for Christmas, a nice away grey Gerrard 4 shirt or a 5-1
demolition of Toontown?

Torres and appropriately named girlfriend Olalla.

Torres and appropriately named girlfriend Olalla.

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